so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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