69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Im part way to drunk.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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