Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
