i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
