I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
