There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
