Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
