So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
