I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
