So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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