Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
