Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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