The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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