i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
