it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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