Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
