i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm both gender and math confused
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
