I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
