I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I've blown a few things in my day
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
