no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
