Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
