All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
