You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
