I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize