I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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