You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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