I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
