Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
