I'm so fucking centered right now
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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