Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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