took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
