If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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