ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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