His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
