laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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