im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
