also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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