is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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