Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
