My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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