Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Randomize
