Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
