There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
