dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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