I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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