are you still at the devil's house?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
