Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
