ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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