Screwed.edu
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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