There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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