I can tuck mytits in my pants
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
