Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
