I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
