i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
