Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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