I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
