4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
