What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
