the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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