I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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