Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
