He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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