Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Let's get the cat blown out
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
