Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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