Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
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