I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize