I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize