went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
