It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
operation harelip BJ is a go
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
