Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
