3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
