Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
