I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
