Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
