my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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