he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Still dying that you shit outside
Go christen that room with your naked body.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
