I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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