i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
