i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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