Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
