oh god the rape fog is back!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
They are going to name an STD after you.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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