oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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