Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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