Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize