is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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