She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
